More In Common

Exploration of Self /// Devin Larkins (Part1:E132)

Learn from whomever you meet and connect with” – Devin Larkins

 

How well do you listen? 
How do you increase your capacity to listen?

How do you define laziness?

 

Devin shares some really helpful functional tips for listening.  He is a good soul and feels like the friend and family member we all need.

 

Devin practices compassion often and shares how he does it.  He is a remind of the fact that we get both and good from our parents and those that come before us.  We also get to chose what we keep and how we then raise our own children.  This conversation is a meandering exploration of listening, parenting, compassion, and even the concept of laziness.

 

“Get 1% better each day” – Devin Larkins

///

 

Topics we discuss:

• Compassion
• Parenting
  • Listening to children
  • Allowing questioning
• What does it mean to be lazy
• Listening
• Justice and progress made

 

References:

 

Credits:

 

Lead editor + Producer: Ruf Holmes

 

Music:

Main Theme: "Eaze Does It" by Shye Eaze and DJ Rufbeats, a More In Common Podcast Exclusive.

All music created by DJ Rufbeats

 

The Eyes Tell All /// Felipe Blue /// E131:(Part 2)

Who’s a free thinker in your life?

 

True free thinkers are few and far between. At More In Common Podcast, the importance of hiring people who challenge what you're doing and thinking is what our guest, and former producer, Ruf Holmes reflected on. But he's much more than a producer; he's an individual filled with talent and creativity who never fails to offer great insight.

 

Now it’s his turn to take the mic as he reflects on his time as our producer, discusses his personal life and important current issues. Although it's the end of an era for our talented producer we thank him for the impact and dedication he displayed, we honor you!

“Compassion most of all is listening and hearing”- Ruff Holmes.
 

Today we are with Felipe Blue.  He is More Than Therapy’s Founder, Lead Therapist, and Award-Winning Author Felipe helps families, couples, and individuals navigate the stages of their life by providing necessary coping skills for their emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being.

 

He provides mental health and addictions therapy, family therapy, individual therapy, life coaching, peer support, supervision and consultations. When he is not attending to his or other’s mental health, he is a writer, producer and songwriter, poet, photographer, videographer, graphic artist, and more.

 

Topics we discuss:

• Growth over the two years with More in Common
  • Clear and constant communication.
  • Fear of the follow up got better.
  • Learned how to understand people's personalities better.
• Editing and listening to conversations of guests
  • Found many lessons in ways people view life.
  • Offered a multitude of perspectives.
• False interpretation of the “Black agenda”
  • The real agenda is to live and survive in this world.
  • Misconception on what the meaning is, people view it in a negative light.
  • It’s a way to live and think freely.
• Systems that are in place holding back groups
  • Systematic racism simplified.
  • All systems have a dramatic impact on success.
    
    

References:

• His Website
• Jim Crow South
• Sharecropping
• Rainbow Row?
• "Sundownish"
• Forming of Australia

 

Credits:

 

Lead editor + Producer: Ruf Holmes

 

Music:

Main Theme: "Eaze Does It" by Shye Eaze and DJ Rufbeats, a More In Common Podcast Exclusive.

All music created by DJ Rufbeats

The Eyes Tell All /// Felipe Blue /// E131:(Part 1)

Who’s a free thinker in your life?

 

True free thinkers are few and far between. At More In Common Podcast, the importance of hiring people who challenge what you're doing and thinking is what our guest, and former producer, Ruf Holmes reflected on. But he's much more than a producer; he's an individual filled with talent and creativity who never fails to offer great insight.

 

Now it’s his turn to take the mic as he reflects on his time as our producer, discusses his personal life and important current issues. Although it's the end of an era for our talented producer we thank him for the impact and dedication he displayed, we honor you!

“Compassion most of all is listening and hearing”- Ruff Holmes.
 

Today we are with Felipe Blue.  He is More Than Therapy’s Founder, Lead Therapist, and Award-Winning Author Felipe helps families, couples, and individuals navigate the stages of their life by providing necessary coping skills for their emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being.

 

He provides mental health and addictions therapy, family therapy, individual therapy, life coaching, peer support, supervision and consultations. When he is not attending to his or other’s mental health, he is a writer, producer and songwriter, poet, photographer, videographer, graphic artist, and more.

 

Topics we discuss:

• Growth over the two years with More in Common
  • Clear and constant communication.
  • Fear of the follow up got better.
  • Learned how to understand people's personalities better.
• Editing and listening to conversations of guests
  • Found many lessons in ways people view life.
  • Offered a multitude of perspectives.
• False interpretation of the “Black agenda”
  • The real agenda is to live and survive in this world.
  • Misconception on what the meaning is, people view it in a negative light.
  • It’s a way to live and think freely.
• Systems that are in place holding back groups
  • Systematic racism simplified.
  • All systems have a dramatic impact on success.
    
    

References:

• His Website
• Jim Crow South
• Sharecropping
• Rainbow Row?
• "Sundownish"
• Forming of Australia

 

Credits:

 

Lead editor + Producer: Ruf Holmes

 

Music:

Main Theme: "Eaze Does It" by Shye Eaze and DJ Rufbeats, a More In Common Podcast Exclusive.

All music created by DJ Rufbeats

A Producer's Farewell /// Ruff Holmes /// Season5:E130

Who’s a free thinker in your life? 

True free thinkers are few and far between. At More In Common Podcast, the importance of hiring people who challenge what you're doing and thinking is what our guest, and former producer, Ruf Holmes reflected on. But he's much more than a producer; he's an individual filled with talent and creativity who never fails to offer great insight.  

Now it’s his turn to take the mic as he reflects on his time as our producer, discusses his personal life and important current issues. Although it's the end of an era for our talented producer we thank him for the impact and dedication he displayed, we honor you! 

  
“Compassion most of all is listening and hearing”- Ruff Holmes. 

Today we are with our Producer who has done so much for this show.  Taking More In Common from once a month to once a week.  Challenging our ideas and making us better along the way.  

Ruf Holmes is a jack of many trades.  He works in IT, edits and produces podcasts, and is an extremely talented artist.  In fact, he has produced all of the music you have heard for the past 2 years.   

 

Topics we discuss: 

• Growth over the two years with More in Common 
• Clear and constant communication. 
• Fear of the follow up got better. 
• Learned how to understand people's personalities better. 
• Editing and listening to conversations of guests 
• Found many lessons in ways people view life. 
• Offered a multitude of perspectives.  
• False interpretation of the “Black agenda” 
• The real agenda is to live and survive in this world. 
• Misconception on what the meaning is, people view it in a negative light. 
• It’s a way to live and think freely.  
• Systems that are in place holding back groups  
• Systematic racism simplified. 
• All  systems have a dramatic impact on success. 

References:  

• Patrick Furlong Episode 
• Dr. Grant's Episode 
• Legislation regulating Trans Rights 
• Jim Lowry's Episode 
• Chicago Shooting of 13 year old from March/April 
• Minnesota officer convicted  
• The Movie Get Out 
• The movie 10 years 

 

Credits: 

Lead editor + Producer: Ruf Holmes 

  

Music: 

Main Theme: "Eaze Does It" by Shye Eaze and DJ Rufbeats, a More In Common Podcast Exclusive. 

All music created by DJ Rufbeats 

Part (2): Jason Primrose/// Build Your Universe/// Season5:E129

What's your relationship with validation?

 

We often seek others' approval, in hopes that the external validation obtained will bring us something that we cannot provide for ourselves. However, this desire, not uncommon, only leaves us wanting more and feeling unfulfilled.

 

Once you change how you see yourself not only do you stop the need for validation, but you will change how you see the world entirely.  This journey is quite powerful.

 

Our guest Jason Primrose, found that embracing his desire for validation as something that is always present, gave him the awareness to work on it. This acknowledgment in his personal life, transferred into his life as a writer, by bringing and building a transformative world to his readers, that is authentic to who he is.

“I think I can handle it is the thing you say when fear wants you to stop”- Jason Primrose.
 

Jason has been obsessed with conceptualizing alternate worlds and characters since childhood.

Their origins were devised as allegorical and subconscious outlets that expressed both his trials and triumphs as an LGBTQ+ person of color and struggles with finding his voice, focus, and purpose as a multi-hyphenate creative. Out of this, the Lost Children of Andromeda universe was born.

 

Primrose does have a hopeful worldview, even in a current climate that does seem a work of apocalyptic fiction. It makes the nuances of his storytelling more thoughtful and relevant.

 

His creative gifts have powered a decade long career in creative strategy, digital and experiential.

marketing, and influencer partnerships for key industries -- from beauty to tech, from fashion to

entertainment.

 

Jason is still called on by agencies and brands alike to catapult products, messaging, and experiences to new-age consumers, championing diversity across all industries and campaigns.

 

Topics we discuss:

• Process of unlearning the need for validation.
  • Belief that I need validation.
  • Need for validation never goes away, you just become aware.
  • You get to choose yourself.
• Childhood's impact
  • As children we think everything is our fault.
  • We then perceive the world from a different perspective.
  • If needs are not meant, it shows up in patterns in our life.
• What happens when you listen to your ego?
  • The ego is meant to protect.
  • Have the ego sit next to you.
  • What you resist, persists.
• Impact of writers
  • Importance of independent publishing.
  • Creating content to reach and inspire others.
• Overall vision for the universe
  • A Universe to be a transformative experience that is global.
  • All inclusive.
  • The power of banding together.
• His upbringing
  • Family allowed him to watch fantasia on repeat.
  • Parents encouraged him to write.
  • Spent a lot of time alone and creating.

 

References:

• No more mister nice guy (A book)
• Ontological Work
• His book - '205Z'
• Lost Children of Andromeda - His other book
• Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher (Book)

 

Credits:

 

Lead editor + Producer: Ruf Holmes

 

Music:

Main Theme: "Eaze Does It" by Shye Eaze and DJ Rufbeats, a More In Common Podcast Exclusive.

All music created by DJ Rufbeats

Part (1): Jason Primrose/// Build Your Universe/// Season5:E129

What's your relationship with validation?

 

We often seek others' approval, in hopes that the external validation obtained will bring us something that we cannot provide for ourselves. However, this desire, not uncommon, only leaves us wanting more and feeling unfulfilled.

 

Once you change how you see yourself not only do you stop the need for validation, but you will change how you see the world entirely.  This journey is quite powerful.

 

Our guest Jason Primrose, found that embracing his desire for validation as something that is always present, gave him the awareness to work on it. This acknowledgment in his personal life, transferred into his life as a writer, by bringing and building a transformative world to his readers, that is authentic to who he is.

“I think I can handle it is the thing you say when fear wants you to stop”- Jason Primrose.
 

Jason has been obsessed with conceptualizing alternate worlds and characters since childhood.

Their origins were devised as allegorical and subconscious outlets that expressed both his trials and triumphs as an LGBTQ+ person of color and struggles with finding his voice, focus, and purpose as a multi-hyphenate creative. Out of this, the Lost Children of Andromeda universe was born.

 

Primrose does have a hopeful worldview, even in a current climate that does seem a work of apocalyptic fiction. It makes the nuances of his storytelling more thoughtful and relevant.

 

His creative gifts have powered a decade long career in creative strategy, digital and experiential.

marketing, and influencer partnerships for key industries -- from beauty to tech, from fashion to

entertainment.

 

Jason is still called on by agencies and brands alike to catapult products, messaging, and experiences to new-age consumers, championing diversity across all industries and campaigns.

 

Topics we discuss:

• Process of unlearning the need for validation.
  • Belief that I need validation.
  • Need for validation never goes away, you just become aware.
  • You get to choose yourself.
• Childhood's impact
  • As children we think everything is our fault.
  • We then perceive the world from a different perspective.
  • If needs are not meant, it shows up in patterns in our life.
• What happens when you listen to your ego?
  • The ego is meant to protect.
  • Have the ego sit next to you.
  • What you resist, persists.
• Impact of writers
  • Importance of independent publishing.
  • Creating content to reach and inspire others.
• Overall vision for the universe
  • A Universe to be a transformative experience that is global.
  • All inclusive.
  • The power of banding together.
• His upbringing
  • Family allowed him to watch fantasia on repeat.
  • Parents encouraged him to write.
  • Spent a lot of time alone and creating.

 

References:

• No more mister nice guy (A book)
• Ontological Work
• His book - '205Z'
• Lost Children of Andromeda - His other book
• Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher (Book)

 

Credits:

 

Lead editor + Producer: Ruf Holmes

 

Music:

Main Theme: "Eaze Does It" by Shye Eaze and DJ Rufbeats, a More In Common Podcast Exclusive.

All music created by DJ Rufbeats

Part 2: Essential Partners /// Our Differences don't have to be our Divisions /// Season5:E128

Our daily lives revolve around communication.

 

When communication is ineffective, or lacking, the goals of companies and teams are on the line. Conversations take place numerous times throughout a day, and we can’t escape them.

 

Therefore, we must find a way to embrace them.

 

Our guests, Essential Partners, immerse us in the world of conversation and discuss how they create mission driven spaces structured on communication. They encourage our audience to lean into curiosity in hopes that engaging in conversations that help you learn a lot, not only about another person, but also yourself.

“Taking time to focus on relationships creates better results” - Essential Partners
 

Today we are with Katie Hyten and John Sarrouf of Essential Partners.  They are Co-Executive Directors

And John is the Director of Program development.

 

Founded in 1989, Essential Partners equips people to live and work better together in community by building trust and understanding across differences.

 

Katie joined the organization after completing her graduate studies at Tufts University's Fletcher School, where her research in religious conflicts focused on the need for effective communication in complex political issues.

 

Katie helped develop the first university-wide inter-religious institute at Pepperdine University. She has worked with Search for Common Ground in Lebanon, RESULTS Educational Fund in Washington, DC, and as a mediator in the Massachusetts District Courts.

 

John was first exposed to EP's work while studying in the master's program in dispute resolution at the University of Massachusetts in Boston. Since then, John has facilitated dialogues on issues such as sustainability, gender, Israel-Palestine, religious pluralism, and technology and sexuality.

 

John served as the Assistant Director of Difficult Dialogues at Clark University, where he taught dialogue to faculty and students. His private consulting work has focused on mediation and transforming conflict in small workgroups and non-profit boards.

 

Topics we discuss:

• Embracing your own curiosity
  • Picking up on something someone said.
  • How jobs intersect beliefs.
  • Level of curiosity of self
• Why do we stay in conversations?
  • “I” statements.
  • Understanding that you know can step away.
• Relationships
  • People feel justified that “I don't have to like you”.
  • Build relationships through conversations.
  • How people see things.
• Hope
  • Hope more powerful than fear.
  • It is the thing that brings you life.
• Tough conversions
  • They are worth having.
  • How do you have them?
  • How do you view conflict?

References:

• Their Website - Essential Partners
• Sophie Beren's Episode
• Synagaug shooting in Pittsburgh
• Shootings in GA spa
• Behave - Robert Sapolsky

 

Credits:

 

Lead editor + Producer: Ruf Holmes

Part 1: Essential Partners /// Our Differences don't have to be our Divisions /// Season5:E128

Our daily lives revolve around communication.

 

When communication is ineffective, or lacking, the goals of companies and teams are on the line. Conversations take place numerous times throughout a day, and we can’t escape them.

 

Therefore, we must find a way to embrace them.

 

Our guests, Essential Partners, immerse us in the world of conversation and discuss how they create mission driven spaces structured on communication. They encourage our audience to lean into curiosity in hopes that engaging in conversations that help you learn a lot, not only about another person, but also yourself.

“Taking time to focus on relationships creates better results” - Essential Partners
 

Today we are with Katie Hyten and John Sarrouf of Essential Partners.  They are Co-Executive Directors

And John is the Director of Program development.

 

Founded in 1989, Essential Partners equips people to live and work better together in community by building trust and understanding across differences.

 

Katie joined the organization after completing her graduate studies at Tufts University's Fletcher School, where her research in religious conflicts focused on the need for effective communication in complex political issues.

 

Katie helped develop the first university-wide inter-religious institute at Pepperdine University. She has worked with Search for Common Ground in Lebanon, RESULTS Educational Fund in Washington, DC, and as a mediator in the Massachusetts District Courts.

 

John was first exposed to EP's work while studying in the master's program in dispute resolution at the University of Massachusetts in Boston. Since then, John has facilitated dialogues on issues such as sustainability, gender, Israel-Palestine, religious pluralism, and technology and sexuality.

 

John served as the Assistant Director of Difficult Dialogues at Clark University, where he taught dialogue to faculty and students. His private consulting work has focused on mediation and transforming conflict in small workgroups and non-profit boards.

 

Topics we discuss:

• Embracing your own curiosity
  • Picking up on something someone said.
  • How jobs intersect beliefs.
  • Level of curiosity of self
• Why do we stay in conversations?
  • “I” statements.
  • Understanding that you know can step away.
• Relationships
  • People feel justified that “I don't have to like you”.
  • Build relationships through conversations.
  • How people see things.
• Hope
  • Hope more powerful than fear.
  • It is the thing that brings you life.
• Tough conversions
  • They are worth having.
  • How do you have them?
  • How do you view conflict?

References:

• Their Website - Essential Partners
• Sophie Beren's Episode
• Synagaug shooting in Pittsburgh
• Shootings in GA spa
• Behave - Robert Sapolsky

 

Credits:

 

Lead editor + Producer: Ruf Holmes

TJ Bonaventura /// Drink Your Own Kool-Aid /// Season5:E127

What does being genuine look like?

 

Genuine people are simply who they are, all the time.

 

A genuine person forges their own unique path not fearing the opinions of others. Simply, they are comfortable and confident with who they are.

 

Our guest, TJ Bonaventura, discusses his journey to becoming the version of himself that feels genuine. In the past, his struggles of having a harsh inner critic constantly led him to feel low-self-esteem and self-doubt. Often, he found himself feeling disingenuous and like he had sold his soul.

 

But this is far from the truth today. He is currently a successful entrepreneur and creator of StudioPod Media. Being genuine has taught him how to be a better leader, how to surround himself with loving people and the importance of being happy, not content.

 

“I never want to be content I want to be happy” - TJ Bonaventura
 

TJ Bonaventura is the co-founder of StudioPod Media. A full-service podcast media and production company helping organizations and individuals create their podcasts.

 

A product of Washington State University, he spent his childhood split between a suburb of Detroit and San Francisco.

 

Initially, he dreamed of being in the NBA before being sucked into the silicon valley tech life. While always dreaming of being an entrepreneur, he hesitated in making that jump until finally coming to the conclusion that was the life he needed.

 

Topics we discuss:

• Navigating difficult conversations
  • “Ask why”
  • Is it from a genuine standpoint?
  • If you agree or not, it becomes a healthy conversation.
• Radar
  • Bullsh*t radar
  • Sensing people's authenticity.
  • Reflective in people Hes surrounded with
• Entrepreneurship
  • Rid yourself of doubt.
  • Make your own path.
  • Trust your gut.
• How he’s built
  • Strong inner critic
  • “I never want to be content I want to be happy.”
• Taking a chance on yourself
  • When to jump by mike Lewis
• Leadership
  • Duty to motivate company.
  • You must be wholehearted.

References:

• SaaS Technology Definition (Software as a Service)
• 'When to Jump' - Mike Lewis
• Studio Pod
  • Julian's Bio Page
• Episode about knowing your audience on their website

 

Credits:

 

Lead editor + Producer: Ruf Holmes

 

Music:

Main Theme: "Eaze Does It" by Shye Eaze and DJ Rufbeats, a More In Common Podcast Exclusive.

All music created by DJ Rufbeats

Erik Allen /// You Deserve Good Things /// Season5:E126

What are your thoughts on being a Christian?

 

Our brains have a natural tendency to automatically judge and compare which often prevents us from listening and connecting to another's way of living.

 

When you first read the word “Christian” you instantly internalize your own biases and reflect those on the person that you are describing.

 

The reality is our identities come from many different places and not one thing defines who we are. This is the brilliance of hearing Erik’s story. His tumultuous upbringing plagued by unfortunate circumstances of debt, rejection, and hopelessness all changed when we open his heart to Jesus.

 

On his journey his relationship with God, this soon became the foundation for his approach to life and relationships. For him being a Christian allowed him to maintain positivity in the face of negative circumstances, and approach life with love.

 

Sharing his story and message of embracing and loving people where they are at, suggests that we might have more in common with someone who at first sight we might judge.

“Love people wherever they are at” -Erik Allen
 

Erik is truly a man of integrity, work ethic and an over-comer. Growing up with a complicated childhood and broken home, to raising himself from the age of 14.

 

Once Erik gave his life to Christ, his life completely turned around. He met a beautiful woman and a new chapter was written.

 

Now, Erik and his wife of nearly 15 years and their two children live in Northern Idaho and live a humble and blessed life. Together they are breaking the cycles handed down to them of addictions, depression, abuse, and lies. They are leaving a new legacy for their next generation built on a biblical foundation.

 

Along with being the sole provider for his family, Erik is an entrepreneur and avid MMA fan. Which he has created the best MMA podcast of the northwest, Top Rated MMA.  With his companies Top Rated MMA and The Erik Allen Show he lifts others up and gives back to the community and veterans through great organizations like Hire Heroes USA.

 

Erik might have been dealt a rough hand, but with the help of his Heavenly Father and a humble heart, Erik is taking each day as it comes and making it count.

 

Topics we discuss:

• His core values.
  • Love people where they are at.
  • Don’t pass judgement on others.
  • When he wakes up in the morning, he views that as a win.
  • Have a kind soul and be a good person.
• How he experiences Christ
  • In the morning he goes to his office to play worship music.
  • During the time in the office, he reflects on what he's grateful for.
  • Relationship with other men who are Christ followers.
• What life was like growing up
  • Parents got divorced and met other partners at a young age.
  • His mother's new man was physically abusive to his mother.
  • Never felt like being at his house.
  • From the ages of 18-21 he moved 21 times.
• Journey
  • He realized he had to clean up his act, and only he could do that.
  • One day woke up and went cold turkey on all bad habits.
  • The struggle at times to Maintaining the positive in tough times
• Sharing His personal struggles and story to the world
  • Notion of how to share your story.
  • Sharing his personal struggles felt like a huge weight off his shoulders.
  • Wife was supportive and insightful on possible implications.

 

References:

• His 8 Minute Video
• His Podcast(website)
• Tom Bileu
• Erick Thomas
• Pete Vargas

 

Credits:

 

Lead editor + Producer: Ruf Holmes

 

Music:

Main Theme: "Eaze Does It" by Shye Eaze and DJ Rufbeats, a More In Common Podcast Exclusive.

All music created by DJ Rufbeats